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On Motherhood and Boundaries

You're probably thinking that this is a post about how I intend to set boundaries with my child once she's born.


But it's not.


There are things that I'm doing for myself, and there are things that I'm doing for her.


I'm reflecting a lot these days on motherhood. There's always this weird thought that once you become a mother, your career is over or that you'll never have time to yourself anymore.


At first, I was nervous about becoming a mother and then I realized I had to change my mentality. I wanted to see this as an opportunity and that's when I realized how empowering it is to enter this next stage.


I began to embrace the changes my body was going through. I accepted that my energy levels were all over the place and decided to not fight them. I implemented naps and rest and meditations into my life. I am writing again. I am allowing myself to reflect. I am pulling away from many, if not all, the things that no longer serve me and setting boundaries.


Omg. The setting of boundaries. THAT has been the most magnificent part of this pregnancy. For once, I've felt empowered enough to say no. It's like this fog of self-imposed obligations has lifted and I can see such a clear path for AyC.


I feel like I just keep heaving a sigh of relief and that everyday I'm becoming more and more myself. I did not expect motherhood to feel this way, that I had to shed an old version of myself to finally step into the version I've always wanted to become. Now with motherhood constantly on my mind, I'm like, "well, I won't have time this type of thing anymore," or (and this is my favorite question to ask myself), "do I want my daughter to see me this way? Because if I accept that behavior then maybe she will too in the future."


Motherhood isn't just about mothering, as I'm finding out. It feels like I'm in a stage/process of refining, and to me that's when the art becomes really interesting.


To finding direction,

Caitlin