WARNING: this blog post has light profanity. If you can't handle it, don't continue.
It's been quite a year (last year). I don't think I ever had to make so many changes, define such hard boundaries, experiment with as many systems of organizing and getting my thoughts in order, all while going with the "flow," which was mostly a rollercoaster of unknowns. In a few words, I was lost, but trying to find my way through uncharted territory.
I took a break at the end of 2020 to kind of evaluate it all. It was a year of mistakes and breakthroughs, and now that I'm gearing up for a new year--I'm a few days late--I just wanted to write out my thoughts so that I could come back to this post and see how 2021 unfolded.
One of the biggest things that I want to tackle is my relationship with social media. It took up a massive piece of real estate in my mental space last year, where I was really connected but it wasn't 100% serving me in the way I needed it to serve me. I'm always on a mission to find the things that improve my life, I live with this feeling that life needs to be enjoyed and pleasurable, so when something is off, that's when I know it's time to find a new rhythm. It's a weird sensation being on social media because it's something that's totally new to the human experience, and totally new to my own world, but because I started my business and opened up a social media account simultaneously, it's hard for me to separate the two of them without thinking that they go hand-in-hand. I feel this pressure to say the most thought-provoking and meaningful things everyday, and the pressure became too much for me. I was sitting in my living room combing over every word, hoping not to offend anyone, crossing my fingers that I wouldn't get in trouble, and hope that somehow I would find myself more relatable to my viewers. The pressure was starting to creep into how I photographed my work, then how I started designing my work, how I priced my work, how I made my work. It was controlling a lot of aspects of what I was making and creating. Finally, it just all felt too much, and I decided, "fuck this, if it's fucking with my creativity, it's not worth it." The relationship with social media is a work-in-progress, I like having an outlet to present my work, but my presence will be limited.
This will hopefully mean that I will turn to this blog more often. I absolutely love writing, it brings me a lot of joy and I like to return to my posts to see what my thoughts were from a month ago, a year ago, etc. I also hope that I can engage with you through this platform better. I have a philosophy which I call the 'Etsy Syndrome' that I think applies to other platforms outside of Etsy. Etsy is an e-commerce website where the consumer can type in a keyword and find a huge variety of sometimes-handmade, sometimes-mass produced products run by small businesses worldwide. But here's the thing, from a small business owner's perspective, it's wildly distracting. They will lead you to another person's similar product at the bottom of each page so that your search is endless, and if you're anything like me, you forget about having that item in your cart and never end up getting it. I really want my website to feel intimate, personal, like I'm having a conversation with you because that's the type of person I am. I don't do well in groups, not because I'm an introvert (I kind of am, but I'm not a shy person), but because I find it way more interesting to talk with one person and get to know them. Social media is designed to help you forget, move on, get distracted, whereas I'm all about that one-on-one interaction. I will talk to you and to anyone like I'm picking up in the middle of conversation--usually the dialogue that's going on in my head--and talk about what I'm finding interesting or thought-provoking in the moment. So I'd like to take this blog in that direction, and engage with it more.
I'm currently reading several books at once, that's how I usually stumble upon THE book I want to read next, and it'd be fun to open up more about what I'm reading. I'm definitely not the type of person who stays current--my friends have to literally text me to read what's happening in the news--I mostly dip into art and history-related books. If it doesn't completely inspire me, why continue? I honestly believe that life is too short to read something that doesn't inspire you. I'm currently going back and forth between the books: Pattern Design by Archibald H. Christie, How to Disappear by Akiko Busch, and The White Road by Edmund De Waal. A routine that helped me get through The Histories by Herodotus was reading 10 pages each morning. It was taking me years to get through Herodotus, I had taken lectures through the Great Courses Plus, read other books that were inspired by him like, Travels with Herodotus by Ryszard Kapuscinski (highly recommend); it also inspired me to read the Homeric epics (the translations by Robert Fagles make The Iliad and The Odyssey much easier to read), along with other books like the bestseller Circe by Madeline Miller, and Why Homer Matters by Adam Nicholson. But to actually get through The Histories itself, was so difficult. Herodotus goes off on some random tangents that made reading the actual book nearly impossible to read. I started the 10-page a day routine to get through it. I think that was the best part of 2020, haha! Anyway, if I find a book that I really enjoyed, I'll share it right here on this blog.
That's it for now, thanks for joining me for another year and let's hope this year is inspiring and memorable.