It's been a little while since writing a new blog post. I have been having a difficult time getting out of the negative self-talk that came as a result of the pandemic and have been trying to find ways of connecting with my work in a positive way again.
It's why I'm doing A Year of Earrings. It's why I started this blog. It's why I'm making more of an effort to be sociable online. It's why I've taken up running in the mornings. It's why I've started implementing meditation into my daily routine.
While all of these reasons are personal, I hope that somehow I can reconnect with my audience online. I wanted my blog to be about discovery. I love when an artist brings us into their world whether it's through process videos, an inspiring email newsletter, or a journal-style blog.
I recently went on a (very necessary) road trip around Arizona and Utah to take a break from my norm and to do a bit of resetting. I grew up with travel in my life and I was shocked to realize how much I needed to step away from my everyday.
One theme that came up was trust. You know what's weird? I have a really hard time trusting myself. There's this side of me that just wants to explore and stay curious and open, but then there's this other side that nags constantly and feeds me with doubt.
Trust is a process. It's something that slowly builds and gains traction. I have a tendency of putting myself out there, not being super happy with the outcome, and then disappearing to try and amp myself up for the next thing.
This is a pattern that has been prevalent throughout my life in other ways, but especially with travel which is interesting why I need it so badly. When I was growing up, my parents would plan trips as soon as I got out of school.
There's an unusual thing that would happen with these trips that I'm only now seeing as a pattern in my adulthood. As soon as the school year ended, we'd leave. And we'd leave for a majority of the summer. Sometimes, we'd do family trips abroad for anywhere from 3-4 weeks, then I'd go another trip alone with my mom, and then maybe a third with my dad. This was every year, and quite often it felt like I disappeared with them to faraway lands.
When the school year would start again, it was like I was seeing my friends for the first time in months. I'd see them here and there over the summer, but you get what I'm saying. Meanwhile, they had seen each other the entire summer and had bonded in ways that I wasn't a part of.
It never affected me, like I never thought twice about it, but I think it's a pattern that is affecting me as an adult. When it comes to bonding with an audience online, I fall into that pattern of being present and not being present and deep down, I know it's confusing for all of us.
Another thing that would happen was that if I spoke about a trip to my friends back in the day, I was often teased. They'd make assumptions that my parents and I would stay in high-end hotels, eating our high-end meals, and doing whatever high-end thing travelers do. Let's just say, those trips weren't like that. They were more about family bonding, but it made me embarrassed to open up about them. So when we'd go on those trips, it really was like I disappeared. They were other-worldly and incredible and sometimes kind of hard, but they shaped who I am.
The thing is that travel is a massive part of my jewelry and how it's made. I need to get outside of my little world in order to bring the world to you in the form of jewelry. I wanted this blog to be a way of finding my creative voice, but also as a way of sharing what I find inspiring with you
. I won't let those old patterns get to my head anymore. I will use my voice to share what I find inspiring because maybe you'll learn something with me, or look at art a different way, or implement it into your own creative expression.
Who knows, but I promise to keep you inspired and thinking and curious and spark joy in you through my work.
Thanks so much for reading and take care,